Reflections
by Pedantic Sheep
Summary: Reflections on the relationship between Kurogane and Fay. Can be seen as mild shonenai or just a very deep friendship, whatever floats your boat. No, this is not a list.
1. Kurogane

**Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle: Reflections**

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**Disclaimer:** Not mine, no claim on characters, no money earned, et cetera, et cetera.

**Warnings:** Pretty non-existent plot. Odd formatting. Third-time fic and first time writing for the fandom, if that counts. References made to manga volumes 1-6/anime episodes 1-19. Can be seen as either shounen-ai or a just a really good friendship, whatever floats your boat.

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**Chapter 1: Kurogane**

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1. Impressions  
Kurogane knew, from the moment he set eyes on That Man, that this was a person to be handled with care. To do otherwise would be a mistake. The signs were not as obvious as they were with himself (masked as they were by that easy demeanor and idiot grin), but they were there, signs that this man, this pale, slender wizard who looked as though he would snap at the slightest pressure, had undergone just as many battles and struggles as any experienced ninja. Perhaps Syaoran had put it best: something—the way he held himself, the predatory grace with which he moved, the look in his damnable aquamarine eyes—shouted "fighter" in large bold letters to all who could read, and Kurogane knew, without a doubt, that had the blond not chosen to forgo his own power, he would surely be a match for the legendary Black Steel.

2. Expressions  
What Kurogane had _not_ known, was just how bloody _annoying_ Fay D. Flourite of Celes could be. He had practically raised it to a minor art form, and Kurogane was willing to bet on his Silver Dragon sword that the man specially went out of his way to irritate the living hell out of him, his main method being (though in no way limited to) the giving of stupid nicknames. It had started on the very day they had met, with Fay cheerfully and without any inclination for basic manners whatsoever addressing him as "Black," and it had all gone downhill from there. In fact, the only time Kurogane had ever heard his full name leave Fay's lips was when he had given it to him. "Kurogane, ne," Fay had murmured thoughtfully. It was never heard again.

3. Acceptance  
Gradually however, Kurogane got used to having his own personal irritant in the party. This was not to say that he had stopped snarling and snapping at the needling (like the big puppy Fay had labeled him), but his bursts of outrage had lost their hard edge of anger, settling instead into an extremely vocal outlet for frustration and exasperation. Sometimes he wondered how he had managed to refrain long enough from throttling the wizard to actually get to that point, and decided that it was most likely due to the fact that, with that sweet and nauseatingly _happy_ grin perpetually plastered across his face (something that invariably made Kurogane all the more cranky), attacking him in earnest would feel too much like kicking a baby animal.

4. Understanding  
Even further down the road, mere tolerance turned into something else, and Kurogane began to sense a pattern. It became almost a routine; there were times when the situation seemed grave, times when Sakura became unusually quiet, or when Syaoran allowed a flicker of grief to flash across his face, and Kurogane would catch Fay watching them with a certain measuring look that was quickly hidden. Minutes later, he would find himself swearing at the top of his lungs and chasing the slender blond (sometimes with a broom in hand) around in circles, even as he knew perfectly well that he would never be quick enough to catch the prankster if he did not wish to be caught.

5. Compliment  
They were different, each fulfilling what the other was not, and yet they were the same. It was almost horrifically clichéd, the way they seemed to fit together like two parts of the proverbial whole. Fay was the cheerful one, the mischievous joker, the one who always had a smile. He was the one everyone turned to whenever they needed a laugh, and he acted as a temper to Kurogane's own dour, serious personality. Together they mothered—or rather, fathered—Sakura and Syaoran as much as they possibly could (though it would be like pulling teeth to get Kurogane to admit it), with Fay in charge of their general welfare and Kurogane taking the role of gruff mentor. Both of them took pains to protect the gentle Sakura to the best of their ability, and to ensure that Syaoran was able to complete his quest. "Like yin and yang!" Mokona had exclaimed, and for once (gender issues aside) Kurogane agreed. They even wore black and white, for crying out loud.

6. Ally  
This partnership extended into their fighting as well. Cunning, lightning-swiftness and persistence; these were the trademarks of the fair-haired and fair-skinned wizard's battle style, characteristics that had manifested even in his feathered kudan. Kurogane's swordsmanship on the other hand was marked by power and precision, very much like a dragon to Fay's phoenix. Their styles melded perfectly in battle; each somehow _knew_ what each should do without planning or discussion; and Kurogane recognised that despite having had to intervene between Fay and an early death more than once, there was no one else he would rather have at his back.

7. Kinship  
Perhaps he ought to be surprised at how well they understood each other, but he never was. There was simply a feeling of _rightness_ about the way in which they were each able to look past the other's shield to read what lay behind. Over and over, Kurogane would notice the look of wistfulness, or the lurking, indescribable sorrow in the usually-sparkling blue eyes that never lasted long, but that never failed to induce a strange feeling of protectiveness within him every time he saw it. He noticed too, how the other was always talking yet never really said anything and how he always blanched or paled whenever certain matters (such as the name "Ashura") were brought up, and while he wanted to know, he never pressed. Fay, in return, did the same favour for him.

8. Empathy  
What _did_ surprise him was how he had come to prefer, even like the idiot's company. Perhaps it was fate, or an odd sense of kinship, or simply a matter of strangers in a strange would reaching out for companionship. Whatever it was, there was a bond between them, and it was enough.

9. Transformation  
It was not until that night in Outo that Kurogane realised exactly how much he had come to care for his new friend. Rarely had he ever felt fear as acute as when the oni had blasted that vulnerable figure off the lamp post, and it made him furious that Fay would take his own life so lightly, that he would treat it with such fatalistic carelessness. Yet mere moments later, he would be taken aback by the intelligence and depth of compassion and sheer tenacity the seemingly delicate man possessed, and he thinks that maybe, just maybe, this was part of what Tomoyo-hime had meant by "the true meaning of strength".

10. Destiny  
Most of the time though (especially in moments following one of Fay's tricks), he just thinks he is insane.

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**Owari**

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**Author's note: **The format is nowhere near new, and it is rather pointless and repetitive, but I just wanted to get this out and see if it would work.

Incidentally, I am indeed aware of the multiple spellings of the name of a certain blond. Having ruled out 'Fye' on the grounds that it would most likely come out sounding like 'Fee-eh' when spoken by a Japanese, I decided to follow the screen backgrounds in the anime instead of the manga, as it seemed more in keeping with the rest of his Western-ish name than 'Fai'. So if anyone, _anyone_ tries to correct me on this without adequate evidence, I will be inclined to stuff the notepaper on which this was written down your throat.

That said, I would be much obliged if anyone could provide an accurate spelling of his damned surname (backed up by resources, of course).

Please read and review. I do, however, reserve the right to point and laugh at you, although I promise I will not bother to stalk you through e-mail or your own fics, because I really do have better things to do. Sequel might or might not be forthcoming, depending on my ongoing examinations and hence inclination to write.


	2. Fay

**Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle: Reflections**

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**Disclaimer:** Not mine, no claim on characters, no money earned, et cetera, et cetera.

**Warnings:** Even more pointless than the first. Angstier than I had intended it to be. Odd formatting remains. References made to mangas 1 through 10/anime episodes 1-22. Number six has a direct reference to a scene in episode 16 of the anime, but that does not appear in the manga (I think. I'm missing a couple of volumes). Can be seen as mild shonen-ai or just a very good friendship, whichever floats your boat.

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**Chapter 2: Fay**

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1. Memory  
Fay remembered the first time he had met the black puppy. He remembered it quite vividly in fact, mainly because he had been rather annoyed at that point in time, though he took pains not to show it. The ninja was an excellent swordsman; that much he could see at a mere glance. He was also selfish, arrogant, and exceedingly rude, and Fay had begun to fear a tedious journey.

2. Beginning  
He quickly revised his opinion once their travels began in earnest however. It was simply too much fun to annoy a reaction out of the pup, and hopelessly easy to boot. Watching the tall, dark, brooding ninja go completely _non compos mentis_; complete with incoherent yelling and windmilling arms; was absolutely priceless, and it wasn't long before Fay turned the entire affair into a personal little side quest of sorts, one which he secretly thought of as 'Operation Stick-extraction'.

3. Forbearance  
Strangely enough, Kurogane bore with it rather well, something that surprised even Fay (who, it should be mentioned, had had years to hone his techniques). He hadn't quite gotten over his fits of wild and violent gesticulations, but at least he no longer seemed so scarily genuine about it.

4. Test  
There were reasons behind Fay's foolish pranks and child-like behavior, reasons that older (and some would say wiser) men than either of them had never been able to grasp. Kurogane did though, and somewhere along the line, Fay sensed that he had somehow gained a strange sort of respect. It was one which he had come to cherish, knowing how difficult it was to earn from this man who scoffed at anything he found even remotely romantic, including whimsical statements about the pursuit of happiness. It also led to a certain unwritten Arrangement that was grounded in the principle that any person, in every situation, no matter how dark, needed his or her light moments too.  
The other reason was, of course, personal entertainment.

5. Equilibrium  
Destiny, Yuuko-san had called it, and Fay agreed with her. It was no coincidence that all four of them had appeared at that shop at almost the same time that fateful day their journey began (although Fay strongly suspected that in Kuro-tan's case, he had been set up by the person who had sent him there). It was not coincidence that each of them balanced out the party the way they did. Kurogane, as a swordsman and military tactician, provided power and skill. Fay, as a wizard, provided knowledge, including knowledge of magic, which had strength in its own right even without the magic itself.

6. Tandem  
It almost frightened him, how they worked together so well, especially in battle. The one at Kiishimu's lair had been the first they had ever fought together as partners, yet it had felt as though they had been fighting alongside each other for years. He had never done anything like that before, and he recognized instinctively that Kurogane, in a lifetime of combat, hadn't either. It was why, in the land of Zolo's Thunder, Fay had adamantly refused to fight seriously, resorting to pulling every trick he could think of and preferring instead to risk Kurogane's anger. If the day ever came when he should cross swords with that man, it would not be for anyone's diversion, or for the sake of trivial competitions. They _knew_ each other too intensely for that.

7. Companion  
It was a comfortable friendship, if an extremely odd one that tended to involve a great number of drinking sessions. Sometimes, as in Outo, they would get drunk—or rather, _Fay_ would get drunk, and Kurogane would be forced to put up with a night of noisy, cheerful, and inane blathering. As time passed, there would also be the occasional one where both of them would simply sit with a bottle of wine, side by side, with their backs against the wall, or out on the steps of wherever it was they were currently living. Sometimes they talked, sometimes they didn't. Whenever they did though, Kurogane never failed to startle Fay with his perceptiveness.

8. Resonance  
They really were very alike, the black ninja and he. Each saw in the other the same determination not to die, different though their reasons for it might be. They each had a past that they were reluctant to speak of, and neither ever tried to press the issue, though Fay did catch the occasional strange look, an expression of pain mixed with longing. He knew perfectly well that Kurogane had noticed similar things with himself, although in Fay's opinion, the other had it worse. After all, there didn't seem to be even half as many Ashuras running about as there were Tomoyos and Soumas, who had such a high tendency of chancing across their group that Fay was beginning to think it was all a rather cruel cosmic joke.

9. Reconciliation  
For all of his gentle cheerfulness, Fay had always made a conscious effort to keep a certain distance from every other member of the party, and with good reason. Because every journey, no matter how long, must end eventually, whether it be in death or the fulfillment of their wishes, and it was the latter that he feared more than the former. Because then the sweet Sakura and her Syaoran would return to her country, while _He_ would return to Tomoyo's side, and Fay knew he could stay with neither. He sometimes wondered if Mokona would consent to stay with him and jump him through worlds, or if he would have to make his way on foot.  
So he was stunned and slightly puzzled that night in Outo when Kurogane had let a flash of real anger show, because Kurogane really hadn't had a right to say what he had said on business that was not his own, and while Fay didn't mind a whit, he honestly didn't understand why Kurogane had been so bothered that the ninja had actually overstepped the boundaries he was normally such a stickler for keeping. It left him rather unsettled and unbalanced, and it took Mokona's innocent yet startlingly astute observation for him to finally realize and accept that perhaps there was someone who actually cared and worried for him, and more, that it was _all right_ for him to be cared and worried for.

10. Kismet  
At times, Fay still questioned if what he was doing was wise. Then, as the big puppy let out his howl of outrage and they began their dash around the room, Fay decided that he didn't care.

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**Owari**

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**Author's Note:** Thanks so much for the reviews, everyone, especially those who tried to clear up the confusion on this guy's darned name. I've pretty much Given Up on it and decided to stick (for now) to what I saw in the Tsubasa movie-book-thingy, which is 'Fay D. Flourite'. Bah. In any case, I hope this one wasn't _too_ repetitive and draggy, and that it actually made some sense. Read and review


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